I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
