Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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