you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
