Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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