we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
