..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
