Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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