At least make sure they are 18
Why
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So vagazzling was a success
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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