Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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