No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
