I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize