she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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