ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
