I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
