sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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