i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
