I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
