Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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