My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
