Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
