I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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