We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
