You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
