she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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