she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
