i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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