Im at strip club and am horny
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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