Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
