Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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