I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
