Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
we're making bets on your personal life
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
