So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
