I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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