just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
