He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
