Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
