I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
