Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
