She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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