I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
