I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it was like eating out sand paper
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
