She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
