you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
