My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
