Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
