This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
