my phone needs a breathalizer
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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