I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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