I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
