Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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