I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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