your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
