i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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