She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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