Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
