I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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