Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
