i jhust puked up my retainher.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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