I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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