your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
