Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
