So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
