I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
