I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Oh god it's open bar.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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