every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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