Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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